Today morning, when I wake up and off to camp. Suddenly a thought came into my mind. But after that I think for awhile. And I make a choice in this thought. So I choose to leave her for a moment. I need to think. I need to think, THINK! I don’t know what to do to it. Or I rephrase it as I don’t know how to deal with it.
Due to past stuff I have. I have to stop this thing before it happen. I am worry this and worry there that I couldn’t stop myself not to think. Maybe is not the time yet to me. But I can admit that she is the one who accompany me from the darkest point to now. Because of her smile big big 
. I make it through. I put down my past and I walk it. Every down moment of this few months she encourage me. But I have to say SORRY! I need to put you down again. I have to walk away before my bad romance is back again. I know that myself isn’t the good guy to anyone. But I have to say again. I have to step back before I drop into another Well.
I just want to have a space to throw away my bad past and do a better one. I not going to have another bad romance again. And I can say is I will miss the smile big big! But I have to apologize that.I believe I can do the best in the future! God, I know you are here. Help me out!
P.S: I promise you that before your birthday. I will be alright and I will give you a surprise at your birthday! So no worries! SORRY!
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