I ask myself, I know so many peeps. But when times I am down I really don’t know who can I seek. But when peeps down I am always for them. Or they have friends to confront them. No one uds how I feel a point of time. I have to encourage myself up and help you. But in the end, all is being wasted. I seek His strength for help. But no one seem to appreciate it. I tell myself is alright. A lot of things, I have tell myself is alright. But then peeps start to discourage me sometimes. If I can choose, I will choose to not help anymore. I feel that enough is enough. If peeps can choose, why can’t I? Sometimes I feel like hugging someone to cry for a day. I am trying my best, but no one seem to see it.

This year I make a choice, I will make a move from your life for a moments. Please don’t think is your faults. No one is in faults but is me who in the faults right now. I have to say sorry! Because to make everything simple and easy. And this year I pray for one thing. Just that you happy, so am I.

My this year revolution:
1. Learning driving.
2. Get to travel to either HK or Taiwan
3. Learn more in Photography
4. Be a followers for Christ
5. ORD LOH!

That all what I have to say here.

I still remember something. A few months ago, when Esther told me something about her test that she think that she might not make it. But she still smile over it. She told me to be positive in it. In the end, when she get back her result she get an A. You might think this is nothing but just yesterday Pst Mark Conner preach about “Belief“. The first thing first I thought about is Esther. They share the same thing. I was so amazed by it. And is so true.

” Pst Mark Conner say this, ” when he had he driving test, he fail his driving lesson and he thought he will never drive anymore but “Belief“. Don’t because of small issue you give up of driving but you change your mindset into positive. By saying, I just forget this only next time I will remember it. “

And because of the yesterday sermon I am inspire by him. And I totally agree that with him. I shall change peeps mindset by doing from today.

————-

Suddenly, my mind of her disappearing soon. Left with shadow with me only. I thanks her for leaving me. She let me grow so much. And to start to understand more peeps life more deeper. And see other peeps joy and sadness. And I thanks her for teaching me for the past 2 years. I never know that after leaving a important person in a life can know so much things from outside the world. Her great memories has lay down my life. I think her voice and everything. I won’t be hearing and seeing anymore. Maybe peeps are right, if you love the person let them go. I think forever eternal she earn my respect from me. Sometimes, I regretted to let her go. Maybe I think too much of her hug, her kiss to me. Is never easy to forget but easy to remember a person for life. Never mind. I think I shall not think about this person too much. I still have other peeps waiting for me.

I just love the way you lie.

(:

So 1 week duty start on 11 may to 18 may. After that, I suppose to take off but I didn’t. Because I have to cone back to work. So I suck thumb go work. But somehow I fall sick on Thursday and I went to see doctor again. And I get a 2 days mc to rest.

Sat went to service and it is awesome. For Sunday, we have sport day at YCK studium. And we have over there and we go to Bishan food court to fellowship. But justin and I we two left early because we need to meet Esther woo for photoshooting. So I follow him to his house to take camera. And after that we go walk around to take photo.

On Monday before AC, I go back to work and I took half day to see my Pes status. After that, I went home to rest and I travel to Expo for support. And I have to say is, is my last duty support w them. So I do what I can do for them. So on tuesday I went back to work. Supposely after work I need to go Expo help out but I didn’t go.

I took leave on Wed and Thursday just to go AC. And I will be serving for the whole entire event. From morning to night. It was fun. Anyway, is my last duty to serve w them but I really do enjoy the moment during we serve. And 3 years of serving not very long or short but I really learn a lot. I want to thanks the Usher ldr and Usher for their contribute.

After the AC, on the Monday I went back to work as usual. And tuesday I start my duty again. 1 week chalet again. And just ended few days ago. And today I am on leave just to rest because since AC I haven’t been resting at home. And I start to busy in a few days time. NDP is around the corner so I hardly can go for off.

Anyway, this is just one month stuff only. More to come.

So in the end, I suck thumb and just go and see MO. When I reach there is already 9.40. So I register my name and take a sit. In the end, I consult doctor at 12.20!!! I waited to see the doctor for at least 2 hrs! And in between I already CMI. But I still wait and wait. Because a lot of peoples is waiting. And only one MO at there. I was down w fever and throat infection. If my trachea, another term of trachea call the air tube keep on swollen. I might ended up in A&E. Because it block my breathing in and out. After that, I collect my medicine I cab off and went home.

And I was so tired at there. Upper body feel so uneasy. Can’t sit properly due to my neck and the heat in me. My throat was in pain for the past 3 days. I can’t drink, can’t eat, can’t turn my head to left and right and basic swallowing saliva is hard for me. And I still work in the cold environment and the weather hot like crazy.

But now ended up at home, I don’t care everything already.

Have to rest soon like sooooonn.

Due to past stuff I have. I have to stop this thing before it happen. I am worry this and worry there that I couldn’t stop myself not to think. Maybe is not the time yet to me. But I can admit that she is the one who accompany me from the darkest point to now. Because of her smile big big . I make it through. I put down my past and I walk it. Every down moment of this few months she encourage me. But I have to say SORRY! I need to put you down again. I have to walk away before my bad romance is back again. I know that myself isn’t the good guy to anyone. But I have to say again. I have to step back before I drop into another Well.

I just want to have a space to throw away my bad past and do a better one. I not going to have another bad romance again. And I can say is I will miss the smile big big! But I have to apologize that.I believe I can do the best in the future! God, I know you are here. Help me out!

P.S: I promise you that before your birthday. I will be alright and I will give you a surprise at your birthday! So no worries! SORRY!

When we start our NDP, Mon to Sat is burn. Sun is freedom and Mon will be a off or might not be a off . So kinda stress up. Because I heard from peeps say that for the day you start rehearsal NDP till your actual NDP our spiritual life and physical body will be like stock market. Sometimes rise a lot and drop a lot. So I pray that for the next few months God will give me a positive mind to endure through. Because we have no time for svc and cg. And we might miss big event and miss important things. But I still believe is alright and is okay de. I shall preserve it all the way. Woot~ ASK God for STRENGTH.

And I will surely miss everyone. Because I will be away for like abt 4 months due to NDP and YOG. So I know you guys will be bored w/o having me. Haha I have to say that. And for a period of time, I won’t be fb and twitter a lot. But you guys still can contact me anytime you want but I won’t reply you or pick up your call. Because I need to work. I will catch w you guys when I am off, alright?

P.S: I will be away, so you don’t be sad for me alright? Your birthday celebration I will do one nice nice for you de! Smile Big Big!

A person say this story. B person say this story. C person say this story to me. I was like what!! I just came back from my medical appointment thing start to happen. And I ask my IC what is going on. So he explain to me. I was like so ANGRY! I just feel that I am the one who try to do everything done but in the end I am the one who get scolded. What is this!!! Ytd night my house was in chaos now like that. I really need some space to breathe man.

But I have faith in God. God, you are my provision! You are my healer! You are my everything. God, I pray that you are with me now! I need you!

I think everyone know fishes right? Fishes like to swim around in the ocean and they like to swim half way and then swim up to the surface and take a breathe and swim back again. How wonderful God created fishes to this world. But if our life can be like fishes how wonderful is it? We are like fishes and some are not.

During weekdays we are like swimming around and on weekend we always swim up to the surface to catch a breathe then on weekdays we swimming around again. So the process will be repeated and repeated. We totally same like fishes. We swim up to surface area to catch a breathe equal to We looking up to God and seek Him. Because we like to work a lot till we do forget to pray to God all the good and bad times. And sometimes during weekdays, we are so stress that we think that God is nowhere. But God is now here with us. I believe everyone will like fishes always learn how to swim up to surface to seek God and pray.

Let us be like Fishes swim around the ocean(marketplace) to do greater thing for Him. And also must swim up to the surface area(Look up) and pray to Him.

Since I bought my DSLR, my journey start on that day. Till now I haven’t stop  my photo shooting. On the 5 april, Bryan and I went to Genting and KL for a trip. As usual we go there by Bus and come back by Plane. The whole trip was alright. I learn how to take morning and night shot. Thanks to Justin and Austin for your help. If not all the photo will not so nice that I think. Come back to Singapore on the 8 april, although is short but exciting trip. Actually I have a feeling not celebrating my birthday in Singapore. And I travel out of the Singapore to enjoy myself instead. Due to some emotional I have. I need to stay away from Singapore to get the thing out of my mind.

And I feel that this year my birthday nothing special. And I felt upset when someone actually neglected my actual birthday. Although someone has send me a belated one. But it will be the best if i receive it on time or on that day I might be a little happier. But nope.. As I think back how my last year birthday and this year birthday compare. This year is the worst of all. Although I feel happy when someone buy me a present. But in my heart, is not at all. Last year 5 April, is the best moment I have. I still rmb everything single that happen. Just hope that it will appear again. But nope and I choose to walk away. Because no matter how I think I will never come back again. And once again I caught in a very bad romance I have. I am stuck. Somehow here and there, I think and I see. The memory is here and there. What a joke to me. I already tell myself I need to leave this stuff. But is totally very hard. And I give up. Totally Give Up!

Anyway, have to say thanks to you guys who send me greeting and present. I like it!

wish to compose a new song with You!